Spinster
by bronsautracks
Summary: Hesitation. Manipulation. Stimulation. Perhaps he was foolish to believe that I would never kill. I, the harmless, little butterfly, stuck in his web, could never hurt, could never manipulate. NarKag Ch. 5 up!
1. Hesitate

Spinster

Ch. 1

Looking back, I can see the silk-spun threads of his web, and I can't seem to figure out just how I missed them before, but then again, one is never made aware of the spider's web, until one is caught in it. And I am. I am caught in the snare, and he planned it all along. I was so foolish to believe. So foolish to think that he could ever feel. But perhaps I have learned now. Perhaps he was foolish to believe that I would never kill. I, the harmless, little butterfly, stuck in his web, could never hurt, could never manipulate. But I can. Oh, I _can_.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

I am walking. Just walking. I am amongst the trees. They are bare, now. Their leaves have all fallen. Autumn is nearly passed and winter nears. I will return home in the winter, and then I shall count the days until spring, when I can see him again. The snowy season is harsh in the feudal era. I wouldn't survive, according to Inuyasha. He told me that I should simply go home, and return when the flowers bloom. So, I will. Inuyasha protects me. He cares for me. He lo—

But what's this? What is this I see in yonder clearing? Surely, I am imagining things. Surely, I am not seeing this. Surely, those are not his arms wrapped around her, not his lips pressed against hers, not his body atop her, not his hands working off her kimono. I look away. Do you know how it feels? Unwanted. Useless. I am a frivolity. He doesn't need me. She could detect jewel shards just as well as I, and obviously she's good for much, much more.

I lean against a tree. I know. I will go home. I will stay home for the winter and come back in the spring, just as planned. By spring, I will have forgiven him. I will have missed him so much, that nothing he's done could possibly upset me. It is because I love him. That is why I will return. That is why I will forget what I've seen.

I take off running, tears streaming down my face. I wouldn't say that I am crying. The tears are just there, of their own accord. Then again, they seem to multiply as long as the image of platinum tresses entangled with raven locks, their lips touching, his hands on her… Damn. New tears have come. I must forget. I must forget now. My vision is blurred and trees fly by. I am wondering why I have yet to trip. I'm not exactly watching my step. And there are so many roots. Mayhap, I am lucky, though luck seemingly avoids my, lately.

Ah, but at last. My foot collides with a protruding root, and I fall forward. I let out a gasp of surprise, though I was kind of expecting it. The ground hits me hard and steals my breath. I struggle for a few moments to inhale. Finally, my lungs fill with one, loud, dramatic intake of air. With this, I roll onto my back and look at the sky through a canopy of naked branches. Right now, I am wishing. I wish to sink into this ground and forever more live as dirt. I would be very polite dirt, I promise. Always, I will let people walk on me, and never would I dream of getting in someone's eye, I swear. Just please. Make me dirt. Please?

The sky refuses to answer me. So, slowly, I push myself up, and steady myself with the assistance of a nearby sapling. I will walk the rest of the way to the well. I don't trust my legs right now. They are shaky as a fawn's.

A twig snaps behind me. I am too tired to think of it as a threat. Now, though, I think perhaps I should. My head clenches and my temple begins to throb. The edges of my vision are rimmed with black, and it's slowing creeping inward.

_Help. I can't see. Please… I… can't… speak. I can't feel. I can't… Darkness. Why is it so dark? Oh God. Please. My kingdom for light. Wait, what's this?_

A voice, "I think she's coming to." A woman. So familiar. So cruel. Light. What is that light? It is far too bright. I can see a shadow leaning over me, but passed that is only light. Bright, white light.

"Yes, in fact, I am sure. Her eyes are open."

A man, "Why have you brought her here? What use, have I, for her? She is no warrior. Her powers as a sorceress are less than exceptional. She is a waste of space," Yes. Why am I here? Who are these people? And yet their voices are so familiar.

"The Shiko--," she begins, but he cuts her off.

"You could have simply brought me the jewel."

A long pause, "I could not touch it, sir."

Footsteps. I shut my eyes tightly. "Then… shall I?" I feel something sharp against my jaw. A knife? It trails down to my collar, where the Shikon jewel hangs. He hesitates.

"It appears… that our young mage is cleverer than I thought," he walks away, "Inform me when she is in a condition to converse."

"Yes, Naraku."

_Naraku? Yes, I know that name. He is the enemy. I am a prisoner._


	2. Hesitate: Part II

Disclaimer: … It seems I forgot one in the last chapter, so just so I get no complaints. _I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA._

**A/N: Err... Sorry this took so long. I kept finishing it... and then reading it several times over... and then hating it... Sooo... I re-did this A LOT. Hope you enjoy. R+R, if you so desire... or if you don't, because I'll love you forever.**

I am in plenty a condition to speak. But I've no desire to talk to Naraku. What could he possibly have to say that I would find worth listening to? So, I'm faking it. Semi-consciousness, that is. As long as I am unaware, he has no excuse to speak to me. But seriously, what would he say?

_"Well, hello there, wench, how do you fare? Killed any of my lovely diversions lately? Do you realize you're going nowhere fast? And how about that weather?"_

Come on. Let's, you and me, be reasonable here. He's just going to want the Shikon jewel. As long as I'm unconscious, he has no leave to think that I could give it to him. So, I'm faking it.

Besides, it's only a matter of time before Inuyasha realizes I've been taken and comes to my rescue. An image of him and Kikyo flashes in my mind and I start to doubt that he could pry himself away from her long enough to recognize Naraku's scent amongst whatever they're giving off… But he will. He always pulls through, right? I mean, a person isn't who they were the last time you saw them; they are the person they've been throughout your entire relationship. Inuyasha has always cared. He will come. Won't he?

I hear footsteps drawing near. I hope, silently, that my body looks relaxed, which would be a miracle, considering all the tension that's building up from worry.

"Miko," Naraku's voice is all commanding. Still, I don't respond, "I know you are awake, though, I admit, you are quite the actress."

When I don't answer, he continues, "You realize, Miko, you have no freedom, here? You are a prisoner. You should submit to conversing with me. Mayhap, I will let you go."

I feel my face twitch under his gaze. His hand brushes over my cheek, pushing the hair back from my forehead.

"But then… If you do not…" He presses his palm to my brow. Suddenly, the place he is touching burns. A sensation that is hotter than fire. I sit up with a jolt, and he moves his hand. Instantly the pain stops.

"Now… Will you simply talk with me?"

"About what?" I ask shortly.

He points to my neck, where the bottle containing the Shikon shards hangs, innocently, "Would you kindly hand me that?"

"No."

"See, now, Miko… I would simply take it myself, but it seems… I cannot touch it."

"No. You can't," I say, tucking the bottle into my shirt.

"Funny… how is it you managed to protect the shards… and not yourself?" he moves closer and I feel my stoic expression waver. I am afraid.

"What do you mean?" he makes his way around me. My eyes follow him until his form disappears behind me. I gasp as he yanks me backward by my hair and presses two, sharp claws to my exposed throat.

"What I mean is: I can touch _you_. I can… _hurt_ you…"

I'm shaking with the effort of not crying out. He's smiling. He inhales deeply. I feel his breath on my ear as he whispers. It's hot. My lower abdomen writhes at the feel of it.

"But that's not what you're afraid of, is it? You're afraid that Inuyasha won't stop me. Is that it? ... Yes… I can smell your fear," a sinister smirk plays on his lips as he releases my hair, "And everything else you're feeling."

He gets up and walks away, and I am left, strangely, in want. I can't identify the feeling as anything but wanting. Wanting… what? I am confused.

I am alone in this room. It is dark, and getting darker. I find myself wishing for home, but more so, for Inuyasha. There are windows. There is a door. It's as if I could just… walk out. But I can't. That would be too easy. Surely, Naraku has set some hidden obstacle. So convinced of this am I, that I can scarcely move, for fear of setting off a booby trap.

"My, my… Have you stayed there this entire time?" Kagura's voice is harsh after sitting so long in complete silence, "You may be our prisoner, but you're free to move about the room. We haven't chained you up."

I don't move.

"Alright, I won't _make_ you move," she walks closer and holds something out to me. I flinch at the motion, but I take it from her. It's food. I'm not sure if it's safe to eat…

"It's not poisoned," How did she know that I thought that? Did I make a face? "You should eat. Naraku wants you alive, when your mutt arrives."

She leaves. I'm still not sure I want to eat the food. Strangely enough, I'm not hungry, at all. In fact, I feel somewhat sick. My stomach twists unpleasantly. My head starts to spin. I'm going to vomit, I think. I don't know, though. Why would I?

I start to gag. My body is trying to purge, but there's nothing there. Why is this happening, now? Each second brings a surge of pain to my chest. What's happening to me? After what seems like hours, my torment ends. I'm wondering if I might've thrown up a lung. I haven't. I haven't thrown up at all. All that effort, for nothing. I'm so tired, all of the sudden. I lay down to sleep.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

Three days. Three days, I have been here, and still, there is no sign of Inuyasha. My only conversations were with Kagura, as she brings me my meals. And each time she leaves the room, I have another gag fit. I think it's her. She poisons my air. Perhaps it's some ploy to weaken me. Well, it won't work. I am not weak. I won't be manipulated.

The room is barren and cold. There is nothing here, but myself and my backpack. My backpack? I hadn't realized I had it. But then, I must have. I had it over my shoulder as I was running. But it flew off to the side when I fell. Did Kagura bring it? Didn't she consider the danger of my having my belongings with me? I push up on all fours and crawl slowly towards it, unsure if it may be a trap. You can never be too careful. Cautiously, I reach out and lift it from the ground. Nothing happens. I open the large, zipper pocket. My books are still there. But my clothes are missing, my CD player, my notebooks, my Swiss Army knife, all gone. Frustrated, I throw the useless sack against the wall. I'm virtually defenseless, ill, and slowly, but surely going insane from lack of social interaction.

I feel hot tears welling up in my eyes. Don't let them fall. You can't. You mustn't. Don't let them see you sweat. I collapse against the wall and curl into myself. Maybe… this is a dream. And maybe, I'll wake up soon.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

The sun has risen; it seems, for the first time in a while. It's so bright. I want to soak it in and glow with that brightness. But I can't, for it is out there, and I am trapped in here. Caged up like an animal. I hear footsteps, but I ignore them. The sun is far more interesting than Kagura. I start slightly when it isn't Kagura's voice that graces my ears.

"Kagura tells me you haven't been eating."

"I have not been hungry," my voice is hoarse from lack of use, a sound completely foreign to me. I wonder, for a moment, if it's even mine.  
A slight shuffle alerts me as he seats himself behind me. For a long time, we sit like this: me, staring out at the sun, his eyes boring a whole through my back.

"She's also informed me that you seem to be sick," his tone is apathetic.

She knew then? Huh…

"What ails you, Miko? Perhaps it can be healed."

"No. I'm fine," I state with a finality that cannot be countered.

Unfortunately, he manages, "But, I insist. You are unwell. Come away from that window. Let me see your face."

I don't know what makes me obey him, but I've convinced myself that I do it out of fear. I turn to face him and inch closer.

"You haven't slept," he's analyzing me, looking me over. I'm suddenly very self-conscious as he drinks me in. I cross my arms instinctively over my chest, "You've gotten considerably thinner in the past week." He takes my left hand and studies my wrist. He's right. I can see the bone, poking out. It looks pretty, I think. Delicate and elegant, like it should belong to a ballerina. I'm not used to seeing my limbs looking so fragile, so dainty. They look breakable. Suddenly, I find myself wondering if he thinks so. Does he think my wrists look elegant? Does he think my long, now slender, legs look dainty?

"This could end, you know." My gaze darts upward to meet his. He has released my hand, and is looking at me with an unmistakably bored expression. He doesn't think I'm attractive at all. Not that I care. I scold myself for thinking of such things as I draw back and force a glare.

"Forget it. Leave me be," I turn back to the window.

"I'm losing my patience with you, child," he says, his voice, so calm, so dangerously even. I flinch, visibly, "You are _dying_. Do you not understand that? You can't live without your comrades. You are sick from lack of their companionship. You want your freedom? It comes with a price," he says coolly. I shiver. There is a long pause as I wait for more, but it does not come.

Instead, I feel cold fingers wrap around my arm, planting themselves there, firmly. I am unsure what to do. I don't have to wonder for long, as he tangles his other hand in my hair and pulls backward so that I'm looking up at him. My free arm flies to my head automatically and I cry out in pain. He lowers himself to my level, so that his mouth is against my ear.

"I will tear you apart." His words make the hairs on the back of my neck prickle and goose bumps ripple over me.

He's like a child. Why does he so enjoy pulling my hair? I clench my teeth and grind out, "Let go."

"Why?" he releases my arm and his hand rests at my collar. He drags his claws lightly over the delicate lines and I freeze. They burn, horribly. I cringe. His lips curve upward in satisfaction as he returns his hand to its former place, wrapped tightly about my free arm. The stinging sensation has not stopped. "What would you do to have me free you?"

I don't respond, not with words, at least. My free hand grasps for the bottle around my neck and I rip the chain free. I press it hard against his face and he jumps back, releasing me to clutch his cheek. He makes no sound. I know he is in pain. The spell was _meant_ to cause him pain, and yet, he expresses nothing but his hatred for me. But that's nothing new.

"Don't," I say. Even I'm not sure what I mean. "Just… don't."

He gets up and moves toward the door.

"I tire of your obstinacy, Miko… Expect me back tomorrow."

…Well _that's_ something to look forward to…


	3. Hesitate: Part III

It's so dark, and I'm so alone. So tired. So frightened. What will happen to me? I am stranded. Inuyasha hasn't come yet. I think he's stopped caring. I'm losing hope. Little bit by little bit, it's slipping from my finger tips. I no longer retain the strength to cling to it. I am weak. I am weak with hunger and pain and possibly from lack of light and fresh air.

I stare out the small window that I am allowed. Even if I were to breach the thin film, it wouldn't give way to my body. Even now that I am so very skinny, I couldn't fit through it. So, instead I stare out, hoping for someone to save me. It doesn't even have to be Inuyasha. It could be Miroku or Sesshomaru or even Souta for all I care. I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home.

A glint of silver catches the moonlight. Wisps of platinum hair, teased by the autumn wind. I stare, for a moment, unsure what I should make of it. I could relate so much to that starlight-coloured hair, in so many ways, that my mind won't process it just yet. Then something clicks.

Is this my hero? My savior, come to take me from this hell that I was so suddenly cast into? I blink and try to focus on the figure. It is a tall one. Too tall to be Kanna. That rules her out.

Inuyasha? My mind queries. My mouth echoes shortly after.

"Inuyasha?"

"Kagome."

"You're here? Are you really here?" I hiss in an attempt to avoid disturbing Naraku. I don't want to make this harder than it is.

"I don't see how I wouldn't be." He draws near and I can see his face, amber eyes filled with a feeling I have never before seen there, his ears slightly drooping against his head.

I pause, unsure what to do or say. I'm so sure that he's here to save me, "I… Can we… leave?"

He looks away and my heartbeat quickens. My eyes start to burn. He glances back up at me. I can recognize the emotion, now. The look Souta gets when mom won't buy him the candy that he wants, the look Sango gets whenever Miroku flirts with another woman, the look Shippou wears when I leave to go back down the well.

His normal determination is buried with a mask of defeat.

"Kagome--"

"No. Please. If you aren't here to save me, then… why did you come at all?"

"I needed to tell you--"

"No. I don't want to kno--"

"Kagome, I love you."

"I don't want you to." I answer, not really caring if I mean it or not.

"How does that make any sense?"

"Because…"

"Look, I know you saw. I know that you were there." He steps closer and presses a hand to my window, peering into my eyes through his fingers. I don't answer. I don't even know why he's still here. I want him to leave.

He continues, "I can't take you from here. I know you're probably confused, but I can't explain it to you, now. Just trust me. You're better off here. I'm doing this to help you. Naraku can't kill you and he won't."

"Why must I stay here?"

"Not no--"

"I'm not a child!" He looks so lost and sad suddenly that I force myself to be calm. "Please… just tell me why." I line up my hand with his against the window.

He shakes his head, "Kagome… I have to be at the village by first light… I'll come back for you." He turns to leave.

"Inuyasha!"

He stops.

"Promise you'll save me?"

He hesitates. And I don't bother listening, when at last he weakly responds with, "I promise."

The hesitation was enough. I am done hoping. Hope can just fade into this room along with my sobs and cries throughout the night. Because I am going to cry tonight. I'll cry until I've no tears left and no fears left. I am going to cry until I don't care.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

My eyes open and welcome the sunlight, my only source of contentment. Not happiness. Happiness cannot be felt in this place. I can see that my breakfast has already been delivered, and that Kagura has been ordered to stay and see that it gets eaten. I crawl over to the plate, not caring at all about my lack of manners or dignity. I am a prisoner. Prisoners do not require manners or dignity. I, the prisoner, am responsible for one thing and one thing only: I have to be there.

I don't feel sick at all this morning, and I almost joyfully bite into the bread on my plate. Kagura looks at me, seemingly puzzled. I look back, seemingly unfazed. Everything is seemingly brighter, this day. Even the bread seems to smile at me.

"You appear… to be… alright."

"I am," I reply. Suddenly full, I put down the half eaten bread and stand up to saunter lazily toward my window. A handprint rests upon its transparent surface, serving as my proof that the previous night was no dream. I look past the handprint to the perfect sky, blue and cloudless as ever, like summer, and yet the multi-coloured leaves on every tree tell otherwise. I sink to my knees and begin to count the orange ones.

1, 2, 3… 4, 5, 6, 7, 8… I continue on counting, not bothering to explain to Kagura, whose gaze I can feel, boring into my back, wondering what I'm doing.

17, 18… but I can't tell if that one is orange or red… and that last one looked kind of brown. Now they all seem to blur together into one big colour. They make the season. I give up and shuffle over to a corner, facing Kagura and staring at her. I think my goal is to make her uncomfortable, but I don't know why I would want to… or why I would think it'd work. She just glares back.

"What are you up to?"

"What could I _possibly_ be up to?" I flail my arms, indicating the walls that restrain me from being "up to" anything.

Her eyes narrow, but she shrugs. "Are you finished?"

I nod and she takes my plate away. I am alone again. Whoop-dee-doo.

I rub my itchy, puffy eyes and slouch into myself. I'm not thinking. Thought is pointless. I don't have to think within these walls. Just as I begin to dissolve into a lonely mess on the floor, footsteps announce the arrival of a visitor at my door. It slides open and shuts behind my intruder.

"I see you ate this morning," he says, matter-of-factly.

"Yes."

"Also…" he pauses to walk over and crouch down to meet my eyes, "I heard you last night. I heard you and your mutt speaking--"

"He's no more of a mutt than you," I cut him off.

Naraku's stoic features give way to a frown on his lips, but a smile in his eyes. The addition of his sickeningly even voice has a rather terrifying effect, "You're a hypocrite."

"How so?" I'm hoping my tone is jaded and steady as his.

"You constantly badger that creature for his recklessness, and you sit here, speaking to me in such ways that show your complete disregard for your own well being," he ends with a satisfied smirk.

"He has something to live for."

"My point is, child, you aren't leaving. No matter how many promises that dog makes, he knows he can't save you. There's only one way out, and you're not willing to pay the toll."

I don't respond. I look at the floor and refuse to meet his gaze. There has to be some hope left for me. But there isn't, is there? I cringe inwardly at the prospect of spending the rest of my life here. Maybe I should just give him the jewel shards…

His voice chills my ears, sending rippling shivers down my spine, "Is that what you want? Do you wish to stay in this room for the rest of your pathetic, mortal being?" he pauses, waiting for my reply, but when it doesn't come, he keeps talking, "And you want to wait each night, in hopes of a savior, who'll rescue you from my clutches, for Inuyasha, who'll only come every once in a blue moon, and only to tell you how much he loves you and wishes he could sav--"

"Shut up!" I sit up and glare at him. He makes me so mad, without even trying.

He heeds me not and allows a malicious grin to play across his lips, "—Save you? And then he'll leave. He'll leave you in _want_."

I don't like the way he emphasizes the word "want." It frightens me.

He edges closer. His hand is on my knee, and I'm not sure what to make of it. He's touching me and it doesn't burn. Naraku isn't trying to hurt me. He's still talking, "I bet he does that often…" He continues to inch closer, his spider-like fingers, crawling their way up my thigh, one of his legs slowly pushing mine apart, his voice, lowering to a guttural whisper, as his mouth is at the side of my head, hot breath barely tickling my ear, "I wouldn't…" his hand slips to the inside of my thigh and starts its way, tentatively, up my skirt, "… leave you wanting, so."

My brain pieces his words together, hesitating in action, for the feel of his fingers, softly running against my leg, and I manage to come to my senses just in time for me to stay his wandering hand, "That," I snarl in a harsh whisper of my own, "is for the soul reason that I could never want of _you_." I push him away, with as much force as I can muster, and hold my legs together tightly, to halt the throbbing ache that therein lies.

He smiles almost gently, "We will speak again later, Miko. I have important matters to attend to. Do make yourself comfortable," the almost gentle smile melts into an expression of pure malevolence, and I have the strong urge to hide from the intense gaze of his blood red eyes. He walks out, and the door shuts behind him.

I realize, now that I am alone, that I am shaking with anticipation of something that won't come. I am left again with the same feeling of want. … Damn liar.

**A/N: Okay, two things I am incredibly sorry for: 1) taking so long and 2) it's kind of short. I promise I'll try harder and next chapter i think that I'll give you guys the lemon you've most likely been waiting for. And just to be on the safe side, I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA. Alright, so maybe that was more than two, but regardless, please R&R. i luv you all HEARTHEARTHEART!  
**


	4. Manipulate

**Manipulate: Part I **

_Why?_ I cry helplessly to the line of silhouettes that stand before me. It's the same dream I've been having for the past few nights. Each time, it's more vivid, more confusing. _Why do you torment me so?_

No one responds to me as I awake. The stillness of the early morning is suffocating me. It's unusually still. And cold. The cold prods at my bare back like needles and a shiver ripples down my spine, causing me to sit up straighter and my blanket to fall away.

I have a blanket? When did I get a blanket? And I'm naked.

Quickly, I pull it back up, covering my sunken chest and protruding rib cage.

"What happened?" I whisper into the night.

To my complete shock, the night responds darkly, "You are foolish."

I turn to face the being that as now made its presence known in my room, my empty room. So empty, save for me and him.

"You seemed, at first, scared," he says, contemplatively, the dark tone all but gone away. "And I respected your intellect, then. You were right to be scared. But your new eating habits seem to have lost you a few brain cells." A grimace forms on the half of his face that is visible to me.

I remember, slightly. Cold water… so cold. Hands on my shoulders, a grimace, crimson robes.

"_Stupid girl."_

What… happened?

"You thought… that you could escape," he said simply, coming into the light, showing the upper have of his face, revealing his narrowed eyes, "with the help of the hanyou. And so did he. See now… I was under the impression… that you had at last stopped relying on him. He's no smarter than you are, after all."

"I… I don't," I stutter. I don't know what to say, nor do I know what he's talking about. Did Inuyasha come for me after all? Did we try to leave? What happened to him?

Naraku speaks through a sickening smile, "Do you know… what he did? Do you remember?"

I meet his eyes warily, "Inuyasha… came for me? Where is he?"

"Ah… you don't remember, then. Well, you will in time." He starts to get up.

"Say that…" I stop myself, as he's standing, towering over my form.

"Say what, miko?

"Is he… Have you killed him?"

He chuckles and drops back onto his knees, in such a casual way that he seems drunk. He leans towards me and I shrink away instinctively, "Fear not, dear child, your Inuyasha is safely away from me." He takes my face in his hand. The gesture could pass for loving, had he been anyone else, and I relish the contact of his warm hand. Why am I so cold? He brushes strands of damp hair behind my ear. His hand dips down to my jaw, which clenches as he comes to my throat, my collar, until his hand rests on my sternum. I feel fragile, as if he could press just a little harder and cause my chest to cave, loosing the air from my lungs and the life from my body.

My fluttering heartbeat drowns out the grinding of my teeth, and there is no other sound in the room. This is it. He is going to kill me. Right here, in this cold, in this still. He is going to push in my ribs and take my life.

Seconds pass, a minute… an hour? … no, I've lost count. Why am I still alive? HE moves his hand at last and I tense, bracing myself for it. Still it does not come.

He laughs. How I hate his laugh. "Honestly, what good would come of your death?"

Can he read my mind?

"So tense," he says as he makes to leave once more.

I stare up, indignantly. "Why do you torment me so?"

He's back on me faster than I can react. His face is to the side of mine. What's he doing? A sharp pain registers at last and I am aware that he's biting my neck. He stops and looks me in the face, "Am I… you're _tormentor_? I cause you so much pain. I _torment_you?"

"You are my _enemy_," his lips meet mine and I barely have time to finish the word. He pushes me down, the blanket falls away again as my hands are caught in one of his, pinned above my head. The other hand is freely roaming my upper body, making its way lower and lower.

I, however, am too stunned to notice. I'm not sure what's happening really. His tongue is now pressing at the barrier of my lips. They part, allowing him access. What am I doing? I'm not kissing back… but… why am I letting him do this?

_You're afraid._

But I'm not… That's the problem: I'm not scared.

A feeling… something writhes deep inside me, struggling to be freed. It's reacting to a touch… I'm being touched. And it give this monster strength; the writhing continues, weakening me.

"S-sto… ple... ease," my voice is a whisper against his lips.

I feel his smile; he only kisses me harder. My brain, at last, registers the location of his right hand… his fingers… are pressing something… rubbing… moving further down. Suddenly, my strength returns, my function, my thought.

_No._

I bite down hard on his lower lip and my mouth fills will a coppery taste. He stops, calmly, pulls away… and he smiles. So wide. It's a child's smile, when he's won something for the effort of cleaning his room or doing his homework. Like he just got his allowance.

His blood drips down his jaw as he says, "I would end your torment… if you didn't enjoy it so much."

I recover myself with the blanket, "Your touch sickens me. The sight of you makes me want to kill myself," I spit the blood out of my mouth, trying to get rid of his taste.

"I can't say I share your sentiments."

He leaves me feeling cold, and fragile once again.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

"_This way!"_

_I follow him without question. This feeling is euphoric. The night is chilly, and I can barely keep up with him, but the adrenalin and the rhythm of his footsteps give me a rush. His smile… when he saw me... It was like we used to be. It gave me hope. Like I could forgive him, and he could choose me, and what's past would be past, never thought of again. _

_I don't know where we are, or where we're going, but there are trees all around and the sound of a stream murmuring and spluttering away at the rocks, not far off. The sound of Inuyasha's running has faded so far that I no longer know which way to go. I spin in circle's in the dark, trying to catch his sound, sense his aura… nothing._

"_Inuyasha!" I call. "Where have you gone?"_

_I catch sight of Naraku's castle in the distance. The room in which I was held captive is in ruins, split down the middle, so that I could escape it. And there, in its center, standing steadily, undisturbed, uncaring even, was Naraku, his red eyes visible even from this distance. I begin to run again, away from that place, away from my tormentor and towards the stream._

_The dark grows thicker, more evil. Confused, I slow down, walking, not running. _

"_Inuyasha?" I breathe. The air around me is thick as gelatin. I come to the stream. But I was mistaken. It's not a stream at all. It is, in fact, a rather large river, wide and dark, ominous. It hums with the crickets as I approach, each footstep crackling loudly in the frosty grass. The moon is big on the horizon, awe-inspiringly beautiful, with the dark silhouettes of five people, seemingly painted onto its surface._

_Inuyasha stands at their center, Kikyo to his right, Miroku and Sango to his left. And to the very right, almost behind Kikyo, was Sesshomaru. No one else was there. No Rin, no Shippo, no Jaken. Sango's face is pale as the moon and she looks sickly and Miroku refuses to meet my eyes. Inuyasha is looking down at his feet. So I am left with the cold stares of Kikyo and Sesshomaru._

"_Inuyasha…"_

…**:xxxxxXxxxxx:…**

I wake up with a jolt, again. I can't breathe. The evil, the gelatin… I can't breathe. Oh, God, I am dying…

**A/N: Soooooooooooo horribly sorry for the lengthy breaks between updates. It's been pretty busy lately. I picked the worst time to write a fanfiction. Excuses, excuses. But I recently moved and now that I am all settled, I should be able to update faster. And I may start suggesting music to listen to while reading the story... I dunno though. But yes. I would also like to say that if you like this story and want me to update faster, then I suggest you give me FEEDBACK. There's no encouragement quite like ACTUAL encouragement. Now... if you hate it and think I'm gross and weird and need a life... You're probably right. But I don't care.**


	5. Manipulate: Part II

**a/n: sorry for the scare evryone. i am continuing this story. it's going to take a while. i'm still coming up with the ending, but i've got the general idea of where this is going. bear with me, please, and thanks vury mucho to those who already have been. other than that, alls i can say is, feedback plz!!! :)**

I have a new room, with a bigger bed-type thing. It's more of a mattress really, soft and comfortable. I like it actually. If you recall, Inuyasha blew my previous room to smithereens. Rather he shredded it. You'd think it would've had better protection against his claws, seeing as Naraku knew he was planning to come back for me. Looking back though, I don't understand half of it. In fact, if it weren't for the new room, I would definitely think it had all been a nightmare.

Still, I denied it. I denied it with every fiber of my being for as long as I could, but now… now that I remember. I shake my head. If it was just a dream, I would know wouldn't I? Or perhaps this is some illusion of Naraku's doing. But why would he go to all the trouble?

Inuyasha wouldn't ever… not me. He loves me. He said it. I heard him say it. In my dream, he was crying, repeating it over and over again.

_I love you I love you I love you. Kagome…_

It had been like some sort of chant. Then I was swallowed up by the river and could no longer hear it. The water was cold and I couldn't resurface for breath. It dragged me down and down and down. I scrambled and flailed, trying to propel myself to the surface. Air was escaping from my lungs in a flurry of bubbles and I was trying my best not to inhale the water. My chest began to ache as I continued to make every effort to break through the surface of the river. The pressure was becoming too much. With a sudden gasp, I took in great gulps of water, straight to my lungs, but it brought no relief. I tried to choke it back up, but this proved impossible under water. I felt so weak. My world went dark, just as I felt warm hands, pulling me up; and then a voice before I was taken by unconsciousness:

_Stupid girl._

Now I am confused and frightened. I'm wishing for Naraku to come back, simply because I want an explanation, something to ease my new worries. But Naraku, I'm sure, would only frighten me more. And image of his jarringly effective near-seduction fills my mind and I shut it out quickly, trying to ignore the warmth the momentary thought spreads throughout me. I shiver and pull my blanket up as I look around for my clothes. They are not there. But surely he does not intend to keep them from me. Unless… but I shake my head. I cannot think that. Must not. Bad images. Good images? Images I shouldn't imagine.

_Get a hold of yourself, Kagome. This is no time to let your loneliness get the best of you._

But I fear that it is. I make an uneasy and uncomfortable attempt at sleep. Though the blanket I've been given is plenty warm, the knowledge of my lack of clothing leaves me feeling as if I've lain down on a bed of snow, or perhaps a frozen lake. I shudder and turn, waiting for dreams to come, but they won't take me; not again I fear. They've done with me, and so has sleep. I sit up straight and breathe deeply, wondering what I should do to pass the time until morning come and breakfast –hopefully along with my clothes –is brought.

I eye my backpack, sitting where it has for as long as I've been in this new room. My clothes are not in there. Just books and papers. Neither is useful in the dark. I sigh, feeling helpless. I have never felt this helpless in my whole life. Then again, I have never been naked for this long as far as I can remember.

Ugh. I want my clothes.

**...:xxxxxXxxxxx:...**

It's morning at last. I haven't slept a wink and I'm nervous as a rabbit in a coyote den, but at least it's morning. I watch as the sun peeks up over the horizon and slowly rises, counting the seconds until my breakfast is brought. I've come to recognize whose footsteps are whose, so I am not surprised when Naraku opens the sliding door instead of Kagura, carrying my morning meal.

"Good morning," he says brightly. Mind you, brightly for him, is much different than brightly for anyone else. It's a sadistic brightness that comes from some scheme he has up his sleeve to torment me.

I respond with a nod and spare my tray a suspicious glance, before returning my gaze to the great threat that has entered my cage. He's looking back at me, a gleeful glint in his scarlet eyes. It's as if he's gotten exactly what he wanted. Instinctively, I reach for the bottle around my neck, but it's still there, the jewel shards safely inside it. And all this time, I'd thought I was completely nude.

"I haven't poisoned it," he says with a grin, "I've other uses for you."

I clench the blanket stiffly around my torso and he laughs almost normally. It isn't the maniacal, cruel laughter one would associate with a villain such as he, but it's rather a musical sound. Happy. I would like it, if it wasn't at my expense. And perhaps if I was clothed.

"Oh no, my dear," he says, pulling me up to my feet by grasping one of my arms, and yanking with unnecessary force, "You shouldn't think so badly of me." His face is unbearably close to mine and I'm tempted to shrink from him. It's a miracle that I don't.

"What should I think then? That you're a saint?" I hiss at him, putting forth a huge effort to keep my voice from trembling as much as the rest of me. Maybe he would just think I was weak from my adventures. Or cold. Anything but afraid.

"Hear this, girl. I shall force nothing from you of that sort," so he says, but his apparent lopsided smirk says very much the opposite, "I will not touch you again. Not until you beg for it."

I shiver and this elicits a short chuckle as he lets me drop back down to the ground. He leaves for a moment and comes back carrying a pile of white cloth. He tosses it at me and takes his leave without another word.

The white cloth turns out to be some form of robe… and my underwear, I realize with a blush. I slide them on and return to examine the robe. It's not a kimono. The material is plush and warm, with pale blue serpents embroidered about the hems. I put it on, tying the sash tightly. It's not as easy to move in as my school clothes, but at least it covers more.

Kagura comes to take my breakfast tray and also leaves without saying anything. That same loneliness is creeping up on me, getting the best of me, and I despise it. It makes me want to spit from loath and anger.

Days continue like this and Naraku is true to his word. He hasn't touched me. As a matter of fact, he hasn't even been into my room since that day. Kagura brings my meals, and when she doesn't Kanna does, and when neither of them do, I go hungry. Neither of them speak to me, and nor do I, them. Talk is cheap. Or so I tell myself. I haven't spoken in what has to be over a week, I do sing. At night when I'm sure no one will come to me, I sing myself to sleep. It's a comfort. Also, it's to make sure my voice still works. I'm afraid it will die out from lack of use.

But tonight, I am interrupted in mid-song. Half asleep, I sit up to see who has come to disturb me. I don't recognize the form. It's a man, but not one I'm used to seeing. He's someone that I've never seen before. Who is he?

I don't get the chance to ask before he drags me out of my warm bed by my arm and drops me on the ground. I hit the hardwood with a sharp 'thud' and my side tingles from the impact. I lay there stunned as he kicks my ribs heavily. I hear no crack, but the pain knocks the breath from me and I scramble to stand, hoping for leverage, or perhaps escape. The second I am on my feet, he drives his fist towards my face, but I move slightly out of instinct and he hits my shoulder, hard, throwing me back onto the mattress.

He looms over me and pins my arms to my sides with his knees, pulling the small bottle from its resting place on my collar.

"Fool," he bites out harshly, "Give him what he wants!"

Give who what he wants? He means Naraku, but why in the world would I ever do that?

"N-no!" I say, struggling beneath him, "Get off!"

He digs his knees into my forearms painfully and I shriek in protest.

"Help!" I yell stupidly. "Help, please! Someone!" He slaps me and I cringe. I can deal with being tossed around and punched, but slapping is so much more of a mom thing. It pushes me into like … automatic submission.

But it's okay. Kagura walks in and observes the situation momentarily, before saying, "How did you get in here?" in a calm, bored voice, and then dragging the man away, as he now cried out in protest, trying to cling to my robe and then to the door frame, and then scraping his nails across the floor. The sound was drowned out, when Kagura closed the sliding door. I curled up into a ball and fell asleep, too tired and confused to sing.

Why was it so important, to that man, for Naraku to have the jewel? He was obviously not a demon. He wouldn't have been able to touch it if he was. Why then? It would certainly do him no good. Every human should be frightened out of their mind by the prospect of Naraku possessing the fully assembled Shikon Jewel. Seriously. It scares me.

Today started off as if nothing happened last night. Kanna brought me my breakfast, and we didn't speak. Kanna left and took my tray away. Then, Kagura brought me my lunch, and we didn't speak. Kagura left and took my tray away. Now, I'm sitting here, very bored, examining some of my darker bruises. There is one on my hip, from being dropped onto the ground. It's pretty large, and unpleasant to look at. The one across my collar bone, from when I was punched in the shoulder, hurts like nobody's business, but I can't quite see it, for lack of a mirror. There's a hand-shaped bruise (fingers and all) around my left wrist, and then darker, rounder, matching ones just below both of my elbows. Funny, I didn't think I bruised so easily. Once I'm quite sure there are no more bruises to be discovered, I get up and start to pace the room.

It's beginning to get dark out. The room has taken on the orange light of a sunset, and I find it very calming. Kagura comes in, but she is not carrying a dinner tray as I expected her to. She is carrying a bright white towel, and the bath stuff from my backpack.

"You are to come with me," she states, and there is no arguing with her. I follow her out of the room, down some stairs and right out of the castle. There are more stairs that lead down into a forest, but she stops here, so I do too. "There is a hot spring at the bottom of those stairs. Lord Naraku does not usually approve of prisoners using it, but under these circumstances, I think he would make an exception. If you leave the castle grounds I will know, so I suggest you don't try to escape. Meet me back up here, when you've finished." She hands me her burden of bath supplies and sits down right where she is.

With that, I troop dutifully down the stairs, happy for a warm bath, instead of the usual cold water hose-down I get here. Still, at least they keep me clean.


End file.
